January 1 2018
I have been fortunate to have found a warm welcome over the last five years as an avreich in the choshuv Beis Midrash of Kollel Chatzot, of the holy community of Beitar. My wife and I have been hoping and longing for a child for the last eight years, and at long last, Hashem Yisborach has blessed us with a great yeshuo. I have decided to write a few words about our experience, to tell the glory of Hashem Yisborach, and of the tsaddikim I have encountered here and the zechus of this holy Kollel.
Every couple in our situation knows of the hardships, the tremendous nisayon, the endless strength needed to cope. The suffering of childlessness is deep as the sea, inconsolable, and all we can do is turn to Hashem Yisborach and beg Him to fill this terrible absence in our hearts and homes.
Many people don’t really understand this suffering – but here in Kollel Chatzos, in this Beis Midrash, things are a little different. (The Rosh Kollel always heartens those in such situations, giving his blessings with all his heart as if he himself feels the pain. Nonetheless, he does not allow despair and sorrow to prevail, constantly inspiring all with new hope and positive direction).
One morning after a night of Torah and early morning vasikin davening, I went to speak to the Rosh Kollel. I had heard much of the segula of Torah learning at chatzos, and had listened to the experiences of those in situations like ours, who had seen wonders and yeshuos through supporting the Kollel, miracles and the help of Hashem beyond the realm of nature. This segula is brought down in the holy seforim, and especially in the Zohar Hakadosh.
I am only a simple student, without means, I told the Rosh Kollel, but I want to support and be a partner in the study of the Torah and in the work here at the Kollel, in the hope that the zechus of tzedakah and the davening of the avreichim here for those who support learning will help, and that we will be zoche to a yeshuo. The Rosh Kollel was happy to hear of my wishes, and mentioned the segula of Rabbenu Ben Ish Hai, suggesting that I cover the costs of soft drinks for those learning at chatzos, to support them in their work. He gave me an amount, which even though it was not large, was still a challenge for me. After great effort, I managed to obtain the sum, and brought it to the Rosh Kollel, giving him my full Hebrew name and that of my wife, so that he and the avreichim would be able to daven for us and mention us for bracha at the hour when the Shechinah, rejoicing in the nachas ruach from tzaddikim who get up in the middle of the night to learn Torah, grants yeshuos and brachos to all supplicants. The Rav accepted the amount and promised me that he would make sure we would be mentioned in davening and before learning for zechus, and that he was certain we would see yeshuo soon.
And this is exactly how things unfolded. The avreichim had my name and that of my wife on their lists for yeshuo, and knew to mention our names as often as possible in their davening, whether before learning or when travelling to holy places. On Erev Rosh Chodesh Kislev, when the Kollel usually travels to the grave of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai to send up tefillos for all the supporters of the Kollel, the Rosh Kollel, in the broadness of his vision, asked everyone without exception to leave the Kollel premises, and to come on the journey, saying they would certainly see yeshuos. He even called the journey “the yeshuos trip”. Of course, I went, and also joined in tefillas Shacharis in Meiron. The Rav made a fine “mi sheberach” for us, and all the avreichim responded Amen with great sincerity. After that we travelled to the graves of the Shelah and of Rabbi Meir Ba’al Ha’Nes in Tiveria, where we also davened.
But the Rosh Kollel was not finished in his efforts, and announced on the way back that he would be having a seudas Rosh Chodesh in the evening at his home, open to all who wanted to come, to share and to bring something for the Seuda. I went to the Seuda, and again received a long, big-hearted “mi sheberach,” where all the avreichim responded with heartfelt “Amen”!
It almost goes without saying that in that month we witnessed yeshuas Hashem in our lives, and in that yeshuo, the greatness of Kollel Chatzot, of the vibrant, zealous and holy Torah learning in this place shone like a bright light. We saw for ourselves that the promises of Rashbi and others can be fulfilled, and that we can be zoche for yeshuos in our time. And we saw how important, and how great it is to give tzedakah. Even when it is difficult and there is no money, Hashem sees into the heart of those who make an effort, however small.
I have written of my experiences to fulfill the mitzva to "inform the people of Hashem’s greatness" and also that of gratitude, to the Rosh Kollel, who is so dedicated to raising the quantity and quality of Torah learning. I also want to recommend to each and every person to give tzedakah to this holy and pure place. My eyes are lifted to Hashem Yisborach, and I daven for His constant help. I daven for all our fellow benei Yisroel who are still hoping and yearning for children that Hashem Yisborach will bring them joy and fill that terrible void, and that He will bring them yeshuo with chessed, rachamim, and happiness in healthy sons for avodas Hashem, And a special blessing to the Rosh Kollel for all his hard work on behalf of all the avreichim here. With Hashem’s help, may all his efforts be fruitful. Amen.
Sincerely, An Avreich from Kollel Chatzos